He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
