I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
