If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
