So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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