Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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