Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
