im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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