i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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