a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
being pregnant is like rehab
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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