I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize