I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You left your phone here
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