i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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