dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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