My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
