btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
