i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
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we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
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I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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