Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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