My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
