No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
