Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
