We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
