you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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