Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
