Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
