But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I don't deserve a penis
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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