So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
