Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
