I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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