id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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