that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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