Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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