Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
