i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
