my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
