Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
