At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
