Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
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