Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
