Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize