So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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