youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
