I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
