you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
