just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
