They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
