You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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