She's JV to your varsity
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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