In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
