You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
