Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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