we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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