i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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