hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
