woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
