can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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