it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
