One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
