my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
bring money and cleavage
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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