In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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