No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
