TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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