Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
