well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
she told me i tasted like america
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
