i permit you to call me
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
