If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
